


Eros

by JaclynKL



Category: Veronica Mars (TV), Veronica Mars - All Media Types
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-12
Updated: 2019-08-12
Packaged: 2020-08-29 19:10:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20220334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JaclynKL/pseuds/JaclynKL
Summary: Lilly Lives AU. Veronica attends Lilly's 30th birthday weekend getaway and soon learns it is not what she had expected.





	Eros

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MrsKissyT](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrsKissyT/gifts), [Bondopoulos](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bondopoulos/gifts).

> Disclaimer: Veronica Mars belongs to Rob Thomas.

Lilly was going to kill her. It was as simple as that.

She was already supposed to be on the Kane’s yacht for a girl’s getaway weekend to celebrate Lilly’s 30th birthday, but her post assignment briefing ran long, which now left her scrambling to pack.

Veronica stripped off her, _you-can-make-me-as-a-fed-from-a-mile-away, _black pantsuit and donned a blue long-sleeved plaid shirt left unbuttoned over a white tee, a pair of comfy jeans and her Converse. After quickly brushing her teeth she threw on her leather jacket for warmth, grabbed her weekend bag and ran out the door.

As she pulled into the marina parking lot, Veronica had no problem spotting Eros, the Kane’s hundred foot, luxury three-story beast of a boat. _Yacht, Veronica. It’s a yacht. _

It was a thing of beauty, both inside and out. Although Veronica was fairly certain Lilly had picked it out for its name alone. Eros was the god of sexual desire, love, attraction and procreation. However, she usually omitted that last one and focused on the other three. Three traits, which were the embodiment of one Lilly Kane.

Veronica locked her car and made her way down the dock to slip twenty-five and carefully boarded the floating mansion. She made her way down the port side of the yacht on the lower level to the staircase at the stern. Years of experience from previous trips taught her this was the easiest way to access all three upper deck levels and the cabins below.

She followed the sound of music and voices to the second level deck and was immediately engulfed in a crushing hug by a blonde spitfire. “Sorry, I’m late, Lil. Work was a bitch.”

“Don’t worry about it, you’re right on time. We’re still waiting on the takeout for dinner to arrive,” Lilly said as she released Veronica.

Without Lilly’s blonde mop of curls obstructing her view, Veronica was finally able to take in the view around her, more importantly the voices around her that didn’t belong to her best friend.

Her eyes did a one-eighty spotting Meg and Duncan talking in a ridiculous tone reserved for babies or small children and blowing kisses into a video call, a tall and fit blond male she had never seen before mixing a handful of drinks at the self-serve bar and…

“Lilly,” Veronica demanded with a hushed tone through clenched teeth as she spun back around to her best friend, “can I talk to you below deck for a minute?”

Lilly rolled her eyes with a smile and indulged Veronica’s command.

When they reached the privacy of the enclosed hallway housing the three individual cabins Veronica unleashed her anger. “What the hell is _he _doing here?! You said this was a _girl’s _weekend to celebrate your birthday. He shouldn’t be here!”

“The four of us never get to see each other anymore, not as a group all in one place. If I had told you the truth you wouldn’t have come. Please, V, you wouldn’t deny the birthday girl her one birthday wish would you?”

“He broke my heart, Lilly,” Veronica whispered as she looked up, hoping to cease the moisture gathering in her eyes from spilling over down her cheeks.

“I know,” Lilly’s voice grew soft, “but it’s been seven years. Don’t you think it’s time you forgave him? Maybe give him another chance?” She asked hopefully.

At Veronica’s hesitant look, Lilly continued. “Trust me, I know how dumb the boy can be and I know he made a mistake. But, so what? He still loves you. And I know you still love him.”

“I—“

Lilly cut Veronica off before she could deny the truth, “besides, neither of you are the same people you were seven years ago. You’re a sexy, tough as nails FBI agent and he’s a pilot for the goddamn Navy. Just promise me you’ll keep an open mind this weekend. At the very least get yourself laid, because sexual frustration and celibacy do not look good on you, Veronica Mars. They suppress your hotness,” she said while staring at Veronica’s plaid shirt.

Veronica rolled her eyes at the anything but subtle dig. “I’m not here to get laid, I’m here to celebrate your birth. And I make no promises, but while I’m here I will try to play nice this weekend.”

“That’s all I ask.” Lilly pulled Veronica into another hug, this one purely for comfort and support. When she pulled away she had a devilish smirk on her face, “by the way, you and Logan are sharing a cabin this weekend.” She kissed Veronica’s cheek quickly with a sounding, _mwah, _and took off down the hallway at full speed, putting as much distance between her and her gun toting best friend as possible as she tossed a _see you upstairs _retort over her shoulder.

“LILLY FUCKING KANE!”

The only response Veronica got was Lilly’s maniacal laughter echoing down the hall from the stairwell.

* * *

A few minutes after Veronica had collected her anger and shoved it aside as best she could, she returned to the second deck level with her happy party face in place.

Meg approached her first with a large smile, unaware of the tension bubbling under her skin from fifteen minutes earlier. “It’s so good to see you, Veronica,” Meg said with a hug. “You look great.”

“Thank you, Meg, so do you. How are the girls?”

“They are getting so big, so fast. Faith is five now. Can you believe it? Annabelle just turned eight months old last week.” Meg pulled out her phone and flipped to the gallery to show Veronica. “This is the first time we’ve left the girls overnight since Annabelle was born and I’m a little nervous, but it also feels so nice to get out of the house and converse with other adults for a change.”

“They’re beautiful,” Veronica said as she handed Meg her phone back.

“You’ll have to come by sometime and visit. They miss their Aunt Veronica.”

An awkward silence hung in the air for a moment. Veronica not wanting to promise a visit she most likely wouldn’t commit to and Meg not wanting to push the subject and make Veronica feel guilty.

“So…” Meg hesitantly broke the silence, “are you seeing anyone?”

“No,” Veronica responded politely with a small smile, even though it was obvious since she apparently came to this girl’s-getaway-turned-couples-retreat solo. Her eyes quickly darted to Logan on the far side of the room, who was staring at her with a burning intensity, making her heart speed up, before looking back at Meg. “It’s just me.”

“Oh, well that’s cool too, self discovery and all that, right?”

“Right. Plus, I’m busy with work, so…” Veronica trailed off, not wanting to discuss her completely lonely single life with Meg who hadn’t been single since she got together with Duncan junior year of high school.

“Yeah, of course,” Meg looked around nervously, not knowing what else to say at the moment. She visibly relaxed when she saw Duncan making his way over to them.

“Hey, Veronica,” Duncan greeted as he wrapped his arm around Meg’s waist.

“Duncan, good to see you.”

“You too,” he smiled. “Do you mind if I borrow Meg for a minute?”

“Not at all. I’ll catch up with you two later.” Veronica watched them move further away to the outside portion of the second level before turning around to find another distraction besides the brunette across the room who hadn’t taken his eyes off her since she arrived.

_I need a drink. _Veronica made her way over to the self-serve bar, where the tall blond from before was operating the blender.

“You must be Veronica,” he said as she took a seat on one of the bar stools.

“I must be,” Veronica snatched a maraschino cherry from a jar over the counter and popped it in her mouth, “and which one of Lilly’s lovers are you?”

A large grin stretched across his face revealing a mouthful of perfectly aligned white teeth. “Nick, it’s nice to finally meet you,” he reached his hand out to shake Veronica’s, “and I’m her only lover.”

Veronica quirked an eyebrow disbelievingly.

Nick leaned in as if to tell her a saucy secret. “We had the exclusivity talk when she planned this little celebration weekend.”

Veronica looked at him surprised. “Well, then I guess what they say about maturity is true, it comes with age. Or hell has frozen over, that one sounds more believable though.”

Nick smirked. “Or, I’m just a really good lay. Did you ever think of that?”

“In the five seconds I’ve known you?” Veronica laughed, “It hadn’t even crossed my mind.”

“If you say so,” Nick winked at her teasingly. “Would you like a drink, Veronica?”

“Yes, please.” She answered quickly. “What’s in the blender?”

“Frozen margaritas. Strawberry flavored.”

“Perfect. I’ll take one of those.” She watched him get out a margarita glass, salt the rim and fill it up before adding some chopped up fruit on a stick to the side like they were vacationing at a tropical resort.

Veronica took the glass from him and tilted her head to the side, “I know we just met, but can I ask you for a favor?”

“Uh-oh, I was warned about doing favors for you. I think I need to hear what the favor is first before I agree to start doing your bidding.”

“Since you’re the only person on this boat—“

“Yacht,” Nick corrected her.

“Whatever. Since you’re the only person on this _yacht _that doesn’t make me want to jump overboard at the moment, do you think you could keep an eye on me tonight? Make sure I don’t drink too much and do something I might regret in the morning.”

“Like sleep with your ex?”

Veronica blew out a deep frustrated breath, “yeah, that.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll keep an eye on you.”

“Thank you,” Veronica smiled tenderly.

Lilly announced that the pizza had arrived and they were ready to eat. She came bounding over to the bar and wrapped her arms around Nick’s neck giving him a deep kiss on the lips. “Veronica, I see you’ve met Nick. Isn’t he delicious?”

Nick smirked at her, reiterating his comment from earlier that he was a good lay.

Veronica rolled her eyes, not wanting to go there again. _Men and their egos. _“I think you found a keeper, Lil.”

The look Lilly had on her face made Veronica think that her best friend was seeing a real future with a guy for the first time in her life. _Maybe people really can change. _

Before everyone started making their way to the outside deck table to eat, Nick looked back at Veronica and tipped his head up in warning mouthing, “ex at four o’clock.”

Veronica stiffened in her seat and turned to see over her shoulder. Logan was standing about a foot behind her and to the right. He wasn’t wearing sleeves to tuck his hands into, but she could still see the unease and nervous behavior reflected in his eyes as he approached her.

“Hey, Veronica,” he said with a gentle smile.

“Logan.”

He cringed slightly at her less than warm greeting. “It’s really good to see you. You look great…beautiful actually. You look beautiful,” he said with a breath more confidence.

_Buck up, Mars, he’s trying to be civil and you’re being a bitch. _

“Thank you,” she smiled and looked down slightly trying to hide the blush that his words created. She looked back up at him after looking him over for a minute, taking in the changes that came with seven years of distance. “You look…bigger.”

The smile he had on his face stretched all the way up to his eyes as he laughed. “Oh, this?” He puffed his chest out slightly pulling his tee shirt tight across his body, his chiseled and hard chest that definitely had not been there seven years prior, before crossing his arms to accentuate his biceps. “Just part of the job. The Navy likes it when we stay in shape.”

“Yeah,” Veronica replied a little distracted as her eyes slowly made their way up his body. When her eyes finally met his, she saw the small smirk on his face that meant she had been caught ogling him and rolled her eyes. “Jackass.”

He smiled again and her insides flipped and fluttered. _Stop drooling, Veronica. _“I think maybe we should…” she pointed toward the deck where everyone else was gathered for dinner.

“Right,” he picked up her glass and followed her outside, taking the seat directly across from her at the six-person rectangular table.

* * *

The later it got, the sleepier everyone was becoming. They weren’t twenty-one anymore and 1am seemed to be everyone’s limit. Duncan and Meg were the first to excuse themselves for the evening, followed by Lilly and Nick.

Veronica shot Lilly one last glare, which Lilly responded to with just a wink and a smile before following Nick into their cabin and closing the door, leaving Veronica and Logan standing alone in the hallway.

Logan gave her an uncertain look as he rubbed nervously at the back of his neck before opening their cabin door and waiting for her to enter first. “You can change in the bathroom first if you want.”

“Okay,” Veronica nodded as she grabbed her bag off the bed and made her way to the bathroom.

She leaned against the closed door and took a deep breath. Dinner had been better than she had expected. With a group of people conversation flowed freely and so did the alcohol.

Nick had kept his promise to look out for her and started passing her water after her second margarita. She had also noticed that Logan had cut himself off after two beers as well.

Now, without the buffer of their friends and more brazen attitudes from the alcohol, the air between them was awkward at best.

She reached into her bag and pulled out the sleepwear she packed for a girl’s weekend getaway, the one where she was supposed to have her own cabin to sleep in. Tiny blue boxer sleep shorts and a black tank top. She looked herself over in the mirror and seriously considered sleeping in her jeans. _I’m going to kill, Lilly. _

Veronica brushed her teeth and washed her face before she grabbed her bag and left the bathroom.

As soon as she stepped back into the main bedroom she locked eyes with Logan, who was sitting on the edge of the bed in a pair of boxers and a tee shirt. His breath seemed to catch as he looked her over and the intensity in his eyes made the butterflies in her stomach take off again.

Logan got off the bed and grabbed a spare pillow; “I think I’m going to go sleep on one of the couches on the upper deck. I know Lilly didn’t tell you I was coming this weekend and I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

“Logan…” Veronica sighed, immediately feeling guilty, “you don’t have to sleep on the couch. The bed is big enough for two and I think we are both mature enough now to share a room for two nights.”

“Okay,” he replied hesitantly, but with an appreciative smile.

“Okay,” Veronica reiterated with a small smile of her own.

Logan grabbed a small bathroom kit from his overnight bag and took his turn in the bathroom getting ready for bed.

When Logan returned Veronica was trying to look busy by clearing the decorative pillows off the bed. It helped her nerves calm down a bit when she had a task to focus on.

Logan stopped at the edge of the bed, after returning his bathroom bag to his duffle bag. “Veronica, I…” he took a deep breath like he was building up courage to say whatever it was he needed to say, “I’m sorry. I don’t expect you to ever forgive me, I don’t deserve it, in fact you probably hate me, but if I don’t see you again after this weekend for another seven years…I just want you to know how truly sorry I am.”

Veronica stopped moving the pillows around and stared down at the bed, “why?”

“Why am I sorry?” he asked not sure exactly what she was asking him.

“Why did you leave?” she asked as she finally looked up at him. “I was standing on the beach in a white dress waiting to marry you and you never showed. No text, no call, not even a goddamn note…you were just gone, along with all your stuff.” Tears began to form in her eyes as the anger and heartbreak buried within for seven years now had an outlet to escape. “I just don’t understand what happened. You proposed, I said yes and I thought you were happy, I thought you wanted to get married, but then you left.” Her tears turned to broken sobs, “what did I do wrong, Logan? Why wasn’t I enough for you?”

Logan moved around the bed and pulled her into his arms, “Veronica…” when she didn’t pull away he held onto her tighter, “god, I am so sorry. Please don’t ever think you weren’t enough for me. You _are _enough for me, but I…_I _wasn’t enough for you. You deserved so much better—“

She put her palms on his chest and shoved him away, her tears slowing to make way for the anger she now felt. “That is a bullshit excuse and you know it. I deserved _you_.” _I still do. _“I loved you and wanted to spend the rest of my life with you, but you threw it all away. Why?”

He gave her a sad pointed look, “you know why.”

“Because of Aaron?” He nodded sadly and she closed her eyes briefly to try and rein in some of her anger. When she opened her eyes again he was staring down at the ground and her voice softened. “You are nothing like him, Logan. If I thought for a single nanosecond that you were anything like him I wouldn’t have stuck around.”

“I know that…now,” he looked up at her with tears in his eyes, “but at twenty-two I didn’t. You know what he’s capable of, how he treated me growing up, how he treats my mom. Back then I felt that anger inside me and I thought that meant that one day I was going to be just like him. My mom is miserable, Veronica. She’s stuck in an emotionally abusive marriage that she can’t or won’t get out of and that’s exactly what I didn’t want for you. I wanted you to be happy.”

“Then you shouldn’t have left me because being with you is what made me happy.”

Neither one of them spoke for several minutes. The heaviness between them took over the silence as they tried to process everything that had been said. Veronica pulled the covers back on the bed and climbed in, lying on her back staring up at the ceiling. Logan turned off the lights and climbed in on his side of the bed, making sure to keep enough room in between them.

After a few minutes Logan interrupted her thoughts, “do you still feel that way?”

“What?”

“Earlier, you said that back then you loved me and wanted to spend the rest of your life with me. Do you still feel that way now?”

Veronica took a deep breath and let it out as she stared into the blackness of the room. It was somehow easier to admit her feelings in the dark when Logan couldn’t see her. “I’ll always love you.”

“But—“

_This is it, Veronica. This could be your only chance to talk to him, to tell him how you really feel. Open your heart and pour it out at his feet. You’ve got nothing to lose at this point. _

“You are it for me, Logan. I’ve tried to move on. I’ve tried,” _though not very hard_, “to make other relationships work and they all failed because they’re not you. I’m pretty sure I still want to spend the rest of my life with you, _but_ I’m also scared to death you’re going to break my heart again. Losing you has been unbearable and I’m not sure I could do it again.”

“You don’t trust me anymore,” he said firmly and with a hint of understanding in his voice.

A few tears slipped down her cheeks and her voice broke slightly, “no.”

He rolled over and used his thumb to wipe away her tears with precision even in the dark. “It’s okay, Veronica. I’m going to earn back your trust.”

She didn’t answer him. She wasn’t sure what would come out of her mouth if she tried. After a few minutes she rolled onto her side, her back facing him and spoke quietly, barely above a whisper. “I don’t hate you, Logan. I could never hate you.”

A small smile ticked the corners of Logan’s mouth up as he closed his eyes. “Goodnight, Veronica…I love you.”

Veronica smiled as another tear fell for all the times over the past seven years she had wished to hear him say those words to her again. “I love you too,” she whispered as she wiped her cheeks one last time, closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep.


End file.
